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I’ve been writing here as a tool for me to look back and see how much I’ve grown and learn as time progresses, and in hopes that someone out there can learn from my experiences.
I’ve grown up with the idea that the purpose of our lives is about money. 22 years later, here I am - having held a full time job for the last couple years, running a small business and doing side gigs. I spend so much of my time at work, continue working after work on my business, spending hours calculating my finances, and retirement stock accounts. And for what? I’ve come to realize I spend so much time trying to secure my future that I forget to enjoy the now. I spend time on accruing material possessions like new cars, designer clothing, and houses that yield nothing but short term happiness, or none at all. I guess what I’ve been searching for is true happiness, and that problem is I don’t even know what it means, what it is, or where to find it.
Sometimes problems can be a good thing
I’m going to jump to conclusions and say that most people do not like problems. For me, I see problems as a way to grow, an area of improvement. I feel that the problem solving skills I learned in my early years not only benefited my career, but also personal growth.
The way I see things are simple. You can take a problem and complain about how crappy things are. You can try “waiting” it out but that delays everything or it gets nothing done. The other option is to look at the situation in a positive way; an area of improvement and room for growth and work to find a resolution and fix it.
Every problem that has come my way has helped to make me the person I am today. I’ve changed and learned so much in the past few years alone, and came to the realization that I have so much more to learn…
Taking back control of my life
A little over a year ago marked one of the best days of my life. At the beginning of everything, I had thought it was the worst time of my life, a quarter life crisis as I called it. I was dealing with thousands of dollar court fees, fines, having to take time off work to go to court every 1-2 weeks, anxiety from waiting for a verdict from the judge, having a criminal record, and jail time.
Today as I look back on things, and I can say that I’m truly happy and glad everything went the way things did. I’ve learned so much about myself - how to control my anger and emotions and how to approach and handle different types of conflicts. I am who I am today because of my everything that has happened to me, good and bad.
It seems in the end, everything has always worked themselves out. I’ve learned moaning and griping about everything bad has no benefits. I now look at everything in a positive way and welcome hardships as a challenge. This month marks the month where I get to take back control of my own life and live it with no more restrictions, no more people telling me I have to attend classes or do community service, no more people telling me I can’t travel, and no more having to go to court.
Never give up on something you truly want
When you find something you want, fight for it. Never give up no matter how hopeless it may seem, even when you’ve lost hope because years from now you’re going to look back and wish you gave it one more shot because the best things in life don’t come easy.
Many of us, if not all will face times of hardship or obstacles that make it harder to succeed. So many times have I been turned down for jobs, told I wasn’t good enough, held back because of my background check, but as long as I never quit, I felt I’d always succeed..
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” - Michael Jordan
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…
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“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
Maturity
There is a common misconception that being older makes a person more mature. And in one aspect they are getting more mature; physically, but not psychologically.
How do we measure maturity? Age, experience, responsibilities, how we react under certain circumstances, or how we handle problems, Its’ such a broad topic, I don’t know where to start.
Something that I had always wondered is how some teenagers can be more mature than some adults. I think upbringing has a huge part of it since we learn a lot from the environment we were all raised in. Difficulties in life and just life experience in general also much have a huge impact on one’s maturity.
In my personal opinion, maturity is side by side with responsibility and accountability. Maturity is more than just being independent. Being mature enables one to take responsibility and accountability for his or her actions. It means someone has taken responsibility and found direction in his or her life, whether it be school, work, or business ventures. Maturity can mean someone takes the time to think before he reacts, or thinks before they talk under pressure and/or tough situations. A person that is mature should possess the skill to understand his or her emotions and learn to control them.
Alcoholism
I try my best not to judge people, but all the complaining and whining I’ve been hearing in the past few months has been really irritating. I’m not saying that I think its bad that people drink, drinking in moderation is fine, but it’s when people get completely wasted and become irresponsible and reckless.
I’ve been against alcohol and drugs because of the bad experiences I’ve had with it. I believe that there are many other ways of having fun without becoming reliant on a controlled substance. Yes, I’ve had good times drinking with friends, but the amount of negative instances that has resulted with the help of alcohol is simply not worth it. I’ve seen a number of fights, girlfriends or boyfriends cheating, people doing things they regret the next morning, DUIs, car accidents, and the list goes on. And this is all from what I’ve seen, if you read the news, you’ll hear about alcohol related deaths, car accidents and more.
The whole topic of alcohol has always made me wonder why people are so quick to decide on drinking when there is nothing to do. When did we become so reliant on alcohol to have fun? Is the bad news in newspapers or television not enough to steer people away from drinking so much? I know people who have had multiple bad experiences while on alcohol, and it doesn’t seem to stop them. I understand everyone is different, and I think its something I’ll never understand.
With that being said, if you do something you regretted when you were drunk, don’t complain to me, you did it to yourself. Don’t tell me how miserable you feel the next morning. Take some responsibility for your own actions.
Where Did Time Go?
With my birthday coming up, it has gotten me thinking about how fast time is passing me by. I’m not a child anymore. To think I’ll be 22 in just a few weeks; where has all this time gone? I remember high school like it was last month, and can vividly replay my 21st birthday as if it was yesterday. There is still so much I want to accomplish and many more goals to reach. I’m racing against the clock.
